When it comes to having so-good-your-neighbors-hate-you sex, making sure you stimulate her clitoris is rule number one.
“Research shows it’s clitoral stimulation, not vaginal stimulation, that is the powerhouse of the female orgasm,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First.
Given that her clitoris can be anywhere from 2.5 to 4 centimeters away from her vaginal entrance, lots of sex positions won’t exactly do the trick, says Kerner.
Try these 7 expert-approved moves to give her clitoris some extra love—and guarantee an orgasm she’ll never forget.
1. PRETZEL DIP
You already know pretzels taste good, but contorting your bodies into one can make for explosive pleasure. Deviate from the thrusting norm, and focus on friction for maximum results.
“This position is about persistently connecting and grinding against each other,” says Kerner. That grinding action will help stimulate her clitoris.
If it isn’t working: Lean your body back. If you lean forward, it’s easier to manually stimulate her, says Kerner, but leaning back offers the best angle to press into each other.
This position is already intimate, but adding some attention to her clitoris will push her over the edge. She’s free to give herself a hand, but you can also close the distance between your bodies if she wants to go hands-free.
Rubbing against her will help her get the stimulation she needs, says Kerner.
If it isn’t working: Support her weight, then have her lean back for more clitoral contact against your body.
Think of it as you dipping her during a dance, says Kerner. With your support, she can get a good rhythm going.
3. LEAP FROG
While this position is a natural for G-spot stimulation, it can be a winner for her clitoris, too.
When you’re in a comfortable enough position, try reaching under her to provide clitoral stimulation, says Kerner.
If it isn’t working: If the thrusting makes it hard for you to keep your hand on target, grind against her in circles instead. Less in-and-out motion can make for a more consistent connection.
Missionary position is an oldie but a goodie for a reason. It can be nice if you’re able to focus less on thrusting and more on connecting, says Kerner.
If she wants a stronger touch, thrust deeper inside of her so your pelvic area presses harder against her clitoris.
If it isn’t working: Scoot your entire body higher up horizontally. If you ride a little higher, you won’t just be thrusting, says Kerner.
Instead, you’ll have to move your body down a bit each time you want to get deeper, which means your pelvis and the shaft of your penis can massage her clitoris.
5. DOGGY STYLE/REAR ENTRY
This one’s especially good if you’ve got long arms, but anyone can make it work.
It’s hard for her to stimulate herself because she’s on both hands, so lean over and reach under to rub her clitoris, says Kerner.
If it isn’t working: Lean over even more so your hand can stay pressed up against her clitoris, or transition from thrusting into smoother grinding motions. This allows her to support herself enough to massage her clitoris while you thrust.
6. REVERSE SCOOP
Feeling intimate? This position offers the best of both worlds: ultimate closeness to your partner and plenty of clitoral stimulation.
Once you’re both comfortably positioned, she can get into a great grinding rhythm against your leg, says Kerner.
If it isn’t working: One of you can slip a hand down south to get the most out of this position. Since you’re on your sides, there’s enough support for one of you to easily provide some manual stimulation, says Kerner.
7. THE SEASHELL
Having her open up is a good thing when you’re trying to get her off. When her vulva is very exposed, there’s a lot of clitoral and inner labial stimulation, says Kerner.
If it isn’t working: Reposition your body a bit higher so your pelvis is right against her clitoris, says Kerner.